Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
