apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
