what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
