I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
