Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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