in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
