Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
