hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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