I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
