so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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