She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
