Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
