don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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