i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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