By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
