I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
