Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
