i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize