This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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