Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
