I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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