look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
