My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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