Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
is that a dick in a sweater?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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