Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
