It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
