I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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