Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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