You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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