I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
