Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
