ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
