OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
