Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
