ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
