hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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