It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
