are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
