he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
