dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
