I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
