Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
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woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
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Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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