ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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