There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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