Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
