After last night, I could never be a politician.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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