So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
