even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
