six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
