oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
