After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
