the day after is always just damage control
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
