I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The uberlube is also flammable
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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