xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
