we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
