So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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