I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
