$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize