She said her name was "party"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
