ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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