Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
