Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
