Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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