dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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