just tell him i said nine months
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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