Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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