If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
