Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
