This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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