Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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