We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
