nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
