your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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