Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
sex in a hospital.. check
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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