Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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