We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please don't give away my fajitas
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
